A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

Did you hear the one about the bartender and the rabbi? If not, you'll find it in this delightful book along with hundreds of other jokes and funny stories about the denizens of bars, pubs, and watering holes everywhere. Featuring classic stories and wisecracks along with brand-new jokes, A Guy Walks Into a Bar will reduce you, your friends, and your family to tears of laughter. Michael Lewis has gathered a wide range of the very best and funniest bar jokes, riddles, anecdotes, and quotations in this rib-tickling (and thirst-inducing) collection. Sure to be a favorite of tipplers of all stripes and the teetotalers who drive them home, the book also includes bar bets, games, tricks, trivia, and more. Featuring classic "bartoons" at the opening of each chapter, A Guy Walks Into a Bar is the perfect party takealong or barside companion, deserving pride of place next to your cocktail shaker and jar of olives.

A massive collection of laugh-out-loud jokes—arranged A-to-Z by subject! •Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! •A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” •Where do you get virgin wool from? An ugly sheep! •What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look! Donut seeds!” •The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders, and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime. Keep yourself—and friends and family—laughing with a new joke every day. This book is packed full of thousands of jokes, alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, providing one gigantic, over-the-top, laugh-out-loud collection.

A man walks into a bar ... Ouch! Everyone has their own favourite man-walks-into-a-bar joke. This is a collection of the best: the old favourites, the most stupid, the funniest, the brain benders, the politically incorrect, the great puns and the really, really bad puns.

Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

It's the future. But only slightly. There are blackouts. No one knows what's causing them, but that doesn't stop people going missing in them. Now Steph and Bell, a schoolgirl and barmaid, have to search for their missing friend, until the outside world starts infecting the theatre that stands around them. Schoolgirl Steph walks into the seedy, empty bar where Bell works. Bell is dressed with everything short and low, and there are no longer any regulars at her bar. Whatever has happened to create this dystopian world remains a mystery, but we learn that there are frequent blackouts, people regularly go missing and women are being killed. Steph is looking for her friend Charlotte, a girl who also at some point walked into Bell's bar but then went missing. The relationship between Bell and Charlotte is unclear, as her conversations with Steph shift between truth, lies and fantasy. In this tense atmosphere, where there is a sense of growing fear, the play "forces the audience to turn detective not just to track down the elusive Charlotte but also to find meaning itself" (The Guardian). A Girl in a School Uniform (Walks into a Bar) is the third play by award-winning playwright Lulu Raczka and was produced at the West Yorkshire Playhouse in 2017 and the New Diorama Theatre in 2018.

“Get your head into the clouds with Aerial Geology.” —The New York Times Book Review Aerial Geology is an up-in-the-sky exploration of North America’s 100 most spectacular geological formations. Crisscrossing the continent from the Aleutian Islands in Alaska to the Great Salt Lake in Utah and to the Chicxulub Crater in Mexico, Mary Caperton Morton brings you on a fantastic tour, sharing aerial and satellite photography, explanations on how each site was formed, and details on what makes each landform noteworthy. Maps and diagrams help illustrate the geological processes and clarify scientific concepts. Fact-filled, curious, and way more fun than the geology you remember from grade school, Aerial Geology is a must-have for the insatiably curious, armchair geologists, million-mile travelers, and anyone who has stared out the window of a plane and wondered what was below.

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

A tongue in cheek guide to prepare and survive a ninja attack. Includes hilarious but straight faced advice on how to spot a ninja, repelling a full on ninja attack and even ninja proofing your home and office.