Based on a landmark longitudinal study, the nation's leading expert on stepfamilies reveals his breakthrough findings and offers the first detailed guide to easing the conflicts of stepfamily life and healing the scars of divorce. There are more than twenty million stepfamilies in America. For most of them, the simple, daily issues that challenge every family are even more anxiety-provoking. After conducting a comprehensive nine-year-long study funded by the National Institutes of Health, Dr. James H. Bray has written an invaluable book that explains why over half of all stepfamilies fail and reveals the strategies that help the others succeed. A stepfamily is assaulted on all sides by difficult and often divisive questions. How much control should a stepparent have over a stepchild? How much authority should a nonresidential parent exert over a child? How should a difficult former spouse be handled? How does an "ours" baby change the emotional dynamic in a stepfamily? Why is there a lack of "honeymoon effect" during the first years of stepfamily life? The purpose of Stepfamilies is to answer all the important questions of stepfamily life--to fill in the knowledge gaps that undermine so many stepfamilies today and, crucially, to learn the effect of stepfamily life on children. Based on one of the largest and longest studies of stepfamily life ever conducted, Stepfamilies interweaves the stories of real families to illustrate such study findings as how: a stepfamily has its own natural life cycle a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit a stepfamily is at greatest risk during the first two years a stepfamily ultimately coalesces into one of three forms a stepfamily must solve four basic tasks in order to succeed a stepfamily can help heal the scars of divorce Filled with emotional, gripping stories, Bray's findings pinpoint the three major transitions in stepfamily life and identify the riskiest issues that can throw a family into crisis. Bray is the first to identify the several distinct forms that stepfamilies take and to explore which types of stepfamilies are more vulnerable than others and why. He also describes the natural life cycle of stepfamilies and basic tasks all stepfamilies must undertake to succeed. With a wealth of insight into the positive effects of remarriage, Bray shows how a loving, well-functioning stepfamily can lessen the trauma of divorce and restore a child's and family's sense of security. Most stepparents remarry with the highest hopes and new resolutions for a better life. Never before have their unique needs been addressed in depth. Through insightful case studies and practical advice, Stepfamilies reveals how a strong, stable stepfamily is as capable as a nuclear family of nurturing healthy development, of imbuing values, of setting limits and boundaries, and of providing a structure in which rules for living a moral and productive life are transmitted, tested, rebelled against, and ultimately affirmed. Bray's positive message and fascinating findings--many of which defy intuition--will put stepfamilies on the road to lifelong harmony.

While statistics indicate that nearly half of all first marriages in America today terminate in divorce, more than three-quarters of these divorces also result in remarriage, producing stepfamilies. Although they have become increasingly common, stepfamilies are still poorly understood, by stepfamily and non-stepfamily members alike. This book looks at the internal and external dynamics of this new family form, taking the reader through a series of case studies and examining characteristic pitfalls and opportunities. The author begins by comparing the basic building block of the stepfamily--the remarried couple--to the first-married couple. In successive chapters the structure of the stepfamily is considered in terms of increasing complexity, from the simplest, in which one of the partners has never married before and has no children, to the most complex "yours and ours" stepfamilies, in which there are children from both previous marriages and the present one. The author probes the conflicts that arise between parents and children and among stepsiblings and explores the different strategies that stepfamilies devise for resolving these tensions. In the later chapters, the sociohistorical origins of today's stepfamilies are traced in terms of changing values and new technologies. Professor Beer argues that stepfamilies are proliferating as a result of attitudes and patterns of behavior that, more than ever, encourage divorce and remarriage. He demonstrates on the basis of large-scale evidence that stepfamilies produce children who are just as well adjusted as children brought up by both biological parents, and that they will turn out to be adults who are almost as socially well adapted as those from conventional families. The author concludes that stepfamilies are types of families in their own right, with foreseeable difficulties and rich rewards.

Each member has their own unique place in a family. Ron Deal explores the myth of the "blended" family offering practical, realistic solutions for stepfamilies.

Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships is designed to be useful both to stepfamily members themselves and to a wide variety of practitioners, as well as to educators, judges, mediators, lawyers and medical personnel.

What determines whether stepfamilies remain together? What helps stepfamilies overcomes the difficulties of remarriage and become mutually supportive family units? How can mental health professionals better support this development? This book brings both clarity and depth to the unique and complex dynamics of remarried families. Patricia Papernow draws on interviews with over 100 stepfamily members, up-to-date research, a solid theoretical framework, and an empathic clinical sensibility to present an insightful model of stepfamily development, the Stepfamily Cycle. This details account of the sages of forming a lasting, cohesive group is richly illustrated by stepfamily members' own stories. Becoming a Stepfamily describes the developmental challenges involved in building nourishing, reliable relationships between stepparents and stepchildren, in the newly married couple, and between different family groups who must learn to live together in a remarried family. Papernow discusses the factors that influence the pace and ease of development, and she provides four full length case studies illustrating the varied paths through the stepfamily cycle to the successful remarried life. The author offers therapists, clergy, school personnel, and others involved with stepfamilies a range of effective interventions, including preventive, educational, and clinical approaches. She provides practical guidance for helping family members deal constructively with the differing attachments of children to their biological parents and stepparents, assisting stepparents as they cope with feeling excluded from the powerful biological parent-child bond, and guiding biological parents torn between their spouse's need for intimacy and privacy and their children's needs for support and attention.

Combining theoretical, empirical, and clinical knowledge, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective contains recent research and information that will help mental health practitioners, family therapists, psychologists, and counselors understand the characteristics, dynamics, needs, and issues of nonclinical stepfamilies. Based on direct experiences with diverse types of stepfamilies, this book gives you new guidelines and strategies that will enable you to offer more successful sessions to your clients and improve your effectiveness as a practitioner. Developed to give you a more realistic understanding of stepfamilies, this text helps you avoid the stereotypes and false perceptions that often surround stepfamilies. Offering methods and strategies aimed at making your clients feel comfortable about themselves and their situations, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective examines several aspects of these families that you need to know in order to improve your effectiveness with them, including: the definition and description of stepfamilies and recognizing historical and social changes in the stepfamily structure critical reviews on the present knowledge of stepfamilies describing the complexity of family structure, the ambiguity of boundaries and roles, and the struggle with the diverse phases of the life cycle discussing key issues for stepfamilies, such as past orientation and acceptance/rejection of differences from non-stepfamilies and focal subsystems the profile, characteristics, and case studies of an innovative typology of stepfamilies that includes integrated families, invented families, and imported families aspects of ethnically and culturally different stepfamilies, including American stepfamilies, Israeli stepfamilies, and immigrant stepfamilies from the former Soviet Union social perceptions and attitudes of stepfamilies in schools, social services, community organizations, the media, and with the law Offering case studies and data on a variety of families and situations, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective will show you that all stepfamilies are not the same and cannot be helped by just one practice method. Complete with principles and instruments to assess patients and the success of sessions, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective works to promote an understanding of stepfamilies that will result in effective and positive therapy for your clients.

'Brave New Stepfamilies' brings to light the kinds of stories largely absent from the stepfamily literature. This book acknowledges and highlights the social and demographic changes that are rapidly modifying the nature of stepfamily life. In addition, it provides a glimpse of the benefits as well.

THE SECRETS TO STEPFAMILY SUCCESS offers tools that can significantly lower the alarming 70% rate of step and blended family divorce, helping families evolve into highly nurturing, reliable refuges of warmth, safety, encouragement, strength, caring, and joy. Step and blended families have a unique dynamic with which couples must cope, along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. See how these families differ in up to sixty structural and dynamic ways from typical intact biological families--including consisting of two co-parenting homes and ex-spouses--and learn how to successfully recognize and manage these challenges. For most couples, trying to build a successful remarriage can mysteriously bring out their deepest personal fears, longings, shames, and hopes. The key to not only survival, but living this journey well, begins with discovering opportunities to heal and to succeed; it is not about blame or badness. With the right preparation and resources, a multi-home step or blended family can be a stable and solid foundation for co-parents and children. Gloria Lintermans is the author of THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF: The Journey Through Loss to Life and Laughter, THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love, THE NEWLY DIVORCED BOOK OF PROTOCOL: How to Be Civil When You Hate Their Guts, and RETCO CHIC: A Guide to Fabulous Vintage and Designer Resale Shopping in North America & Online. Her articles have appeared in local and national magazines, and she is a retired newspaper columnist whose column has been syndicated in English and Spanish language newspapers worldwide.

A Premarital Guide for Blended Family Couples If you want to enter a blended family marriage well, this is the book for you. Aimed at engaged or pre-engaged couples who have at least one child from a previous relationship, Preparing to Blend offers wise counsel on parenting, finances, establishing family identity, and daily routines for your new life together. Within these pages you will learn how to: · predict common issues · define expectations · create solutions You, your soon-to-be-spouse, and your children will benefit from exercises designed to accelerate family bonding and help you better understand each other. There is even a chapter to help you plan your wedding with your children in mind, so you can build a strong future together. Preparing to Blend is also an ideal premarital counseling tool for marriage coaches, mentors, and pastors wanting to prepare couples for complex blended family dynamics. If you are considering forming a blended family, Preparing to Blend is the resource you've been looking for.

Stepfamilies are not a modern phenomenon, but despite this reality, the history of stepfamilies in America has yet to be fully explored. In the first book-length work on the topic, Lisa Wilson examines the stereotypes and actualities of colonial stepfamilies and reveals them to be important factors in early United States domestic history. Remarriage was a necessity in this era, when war and disease took a heavy toll, all too often leading to domestic stress, and cultural views of stepfamilies during this time placed great strain on stepmothers and stepfathers. Both were seen either as unfit substitutes or as potentially unstable influences, and nowhere were these concerns stronger than in white middle-class families, for whom stepparents presented a paradox. Wilson shares the stories of real stepfamilies in early New England, investigating the relationship between prejudice and lived experience, and, in the end, offers a new way of looking at family units throughout history and the cultural stereotypes that still affect stepfamilies today.