Uncle John channel-surfs through America’s favorite pastime: television. What does Homer Simpson call “friend…mother…secret lover?” Television, you meathead! Here comes your wacky neighbor Uncle John to present TV the way only he can. From test patterns to Top Chef, from My Three Sons to Mad Men, as well as TV news, advertising, scandals, sitcoms, dramas, reality shows, and yadda yadda yadda, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Tunes into TV is “dy-no-mite!” Read about… * Gilligan’s seven deadly sins * The inside story of TV’s first commercial * What goes on behind the scenes of Jeopardy! * The most incredibly bizarre shows from around the world * Why Gene Roddenberry tried to beam the original Star Trek cast into space * What reality show producers don’t want you to know * How the King of Late Night crushed his competition * What really went down on the island of LOST * Unexpected sitcom fatalities * TV’s greatest chimps And much, much more!

Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!

This collection of slap shots, high sticks, and toothless grins offers fans everything they love about hockey: its colorful history, legendary players, and enough hard-hitting trivia to occupy even the most avid stat head. The latest title in the new Uncle John's series dedicated to the wide (and weird ) world of sports, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Shoots and Scores shares the origins of the Coolest Game on Earth, the greatest teams in hockey history, the best (and worst) hockey movies of all time, the Incredible Exploding Zamboni (and those who lived to tell the tale), a rap sheet of hockey arrests, goalies' superstitions (Patrick Roy's conversations with goal posts; Glenn Hall's pre-game gastric cleansing), and much, much more.

It’s an actual fact—Uncle John is the most entertaining thing in the bathroom! Uncle John and his team of devoted researchers are back again with an all-new collection of weird news stories, odd historical events, dubious “scientific” theories, jaw-dropping lists, and more. This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . . Dogs and cats who ran for political office The bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victims The man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi Desert Searching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar system Twantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effects The true story of Boaty McBoatface And much more!

Filled with archival images and original illustrations, this book takes young readers on a tour of the White House, examining its history and the ghosts believed to reside there. Full color.

The Ghost Brigades are the Special Forces of the Colonial Defense Forces, elite troops created from the DNA of the dead and turned into the perfect soldiers for the CDF's toughest operations. They're young, they're fast and strong, and they're totally without normal human qualms. The universe is a dangerous place for humanity—and it's about to become far more dangerous. Three races that humans have clashed with before have allied to halt our expansion into space. Their linchpin: the turncoat military scientist Charles Boutin, who knows the CDF's biggest military secrets. To prevail, the CDF must find out why Boutin did what he did. Jared Dirac is the only human who can provide answers -- a superhuman hybrid, created from Boutin's DNA, Jared's brain should be able to access Boutin's electronic memories. But when the memory transplant appears to fail, Jared is given to the Ghost Brigades. At first, Jared is a perfect soldier, but as Boutin's memories slowly surface, Jared begins to intuit the reason's for Boutin's betrayal. As Jared desperately hunts for his "father," he must also come to grips with his own choices. Time is running out: The alliance is preparing its offensive, and some of them plan worse things than humanity's mere military defeat... Old Man's War Series #1 Old Man’s War #2 The Ghost Brigades #3 The Last Colony #4 Zoe’s Tale #5 The Human Division #6 The End of All Things Short fiction: “After the Coup” Other Tor Books The Android’s Dream Agent to the Stars Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded Fuzzy Nation Redshirts Lock In The Collapsing Empire (forthcoming) At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

A half-starved young Russian is smuggled into Hamburg at dead of night. He has an improbable amount of cash secreted in a purse around his neck. He is a devout Muslim. Or is he?

Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?

From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M

Three of them, one of her, and a remote cabin in the woods. Let the hot, winter nights ensue in this steamy dark romance from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas, now with bonus material. Tiernan de Haas doesn't care about anything anymore. The only child of a film producer and his starlet wife, she's grown up with wealth and privilege but not love or guidance. And when her parents suddenly pass away, she knows she should be devastated. But she's always been alone, hasn't she? Jake Van der Berg, her father's stepbrother and her only living relative, assumes guardianship of Tiernan. Sent to live in the mountains of Colorado with Jake and his two sons, Noah and Kaleb, Tiernan quickly learns that these men now have a say in what she chooses to care and not care about anymore. As the men take Tiernan under their wing, she slowly finds her place among them. Because lines blur and rules become easy to break when no one else is watching. One of them has her. The other one wants her. But he's going to keep her.