A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Growing up the son of agnostics, John Koessler saw a Catholic church on one end of the street and a Baptist on the other. In the no-man’s land between the two, this curious outside wondered about the God they worshipped—and began a lifelong search to comprehend the grace and mystery of God. A Stranger in the House of God addresses fundamental questions and struggles faced by spiritual seekers and mature believers. Like a contemporary Pilgrim’s Progress, it traces the author’s journey and explores his experiences with both charismatic and evangelical Christianity. It also describes his transformation from religious outsider to ordained pastor. John Koessler provides a poignant and often humorous window into the interior of the soul as he describes his journey from doubt and struggle with the church to personal faith

Danny Hodges became the senior pastor of a young church fellowship known as Calvary Chapel in St. Petersburg, Florida, in April of 1984. Three years later when he was introduced to Pastor Chuck Smith and the Calvary Chapel movement, he felt an immediate sense of being at home and was grateful to God for leading him to this network of churches that upheld a simple, biblical philosophy of ministry and well-balanced doctrine. Calvary Chapel St. Petersburg soon became a fellowship of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, and since that time God has steadily grown the ministry from a handful of mostly young single adults to a large church full of families. It has been exciting to see God's Spirit bring many to salvation through Jesus Christ, see lives change and mature in the Lord, see relationships bloom and grow, see ministries evolve and prosper, see a hunger for the Word of God and see a passionate desire to win the lost to Jesus. Pastor Danny and his wife, Wendy, consider it an honor to serve this growing body of believers together with their four children, Tanner, Hayden, Jairus and Audra.