Another enlightened collection from the bestselling author of Politically Correct Bedtime Stories. Garner continues his mission to liberate our classic fairy tales from archaic, sexist, ageist, classist, lookist, and environmentally unsound prejudices with a new collection of humorous tales for readers of evolved consciousness. 13 line drawings.

Marines jokingly say that "every day is a holiday, and every meal is a feast" in the Corps, but we all know there is more to it than that. And no, I don't mean "every formation is a parade, and every paycheck is a fortune!" Being a Marine is a tough, but rewarding, way of life, and this fourth installment in the "Sea Stories" series takes a look at a lot of those times - along with a liberal dose of knuckleheads and common sense. If you liked the first three, you'll like this one too!

America's master of satire and wit looks at the concepts of UFO conspiracies, numerological calculations, harmonic convergence, the Internet, and talk of the Last Days.

In the 1920s, the young J. R. Ackerley spent several months in India as the personal secretary to the maharajah of a small Indian principality. In his journals, Ackerley recorded the Maharajah’s fantastically eccentric habits and riddling conversations, and the odd shambling day-to-day life of his court. Hindoo Holiday is an intimate and very funny account of an exceedingly strange place, and one of the masterpieces of twentieth-century travel literature.

A hilarious retelling of the story of Pinocchio, reflecting the social and political realities of our era.

Adapted from the original bestselling novel, The Christmas Sweater: The story of a young boy who finds the true meaning of Christmas.

Citing declining coverage of classic English and American literature in today's schools, a "politically incorrect" primer challenges popular misconceptions while introducing the works of such core masters as Shakespeare, Faulkner, and Austen, in a volume that is complemented by a syllabus and a self-study guide. Original.

Recut Madness is a retelling of the Hollywood Classics for red states and blue states. Hollywood movies purport to appeal to a mass audience, but in America today, half the population would see The Passion of the Christ while the other half sees Brokeback Mountain. Such an inclusive strategy is no longer realistic. In Recut Madness some of the most beloved classics are retailed for one side or the other. From a red state Wizard of Oz (aka The Decider of Oz) to a blue state Jaws, Garner has reinvented colorization for the new millennium.

I Believe in Christmas It's the first Christmas I can remember. It arrived just seven weeks after the deaths of my father and baby sister. To make matters worse, it was in the heart of the Great Depression. Things were tough. All of us children who were older made what income contributions we could, but the truth was my mother had eight of her eleven remaining children still living at home, and six were too young to work. Understandably, the Ziglar kids were concerned about what kind of Christmas it would be! The good news is that though our grief was fresh, we still celebrated Christmas. We received no toys that year, but much to my delight in my gift box I found three English walnuts and something I had never tasted before--raisins! They were absolutely delicious. Mama prepared her wonderful molasses candy, and we had a small cedar tree. And my mother read the Christmas story, like she always did. My sixth Christmas will always have great meaning to me. We celebrated the birth of Christ even in hard times because we believed in Christmas. A Change in Celebrating the Season Unfortunately, over the years things have changed. The cheerful "Merry Christmas" of yesteryear has been replaced by the politically correct "Happy Holidays!" In the minds of many people, we celebrate "holidays." Not only is Christ not at the center of the celebration, he isn't even considered to be a reason for the season! If I seem upset about the changes that I see taking place in regard to Christmas, it is because I am! It's not because an old tradition is being changed. No, I'm upset that the event that made it possible for me to have a life I could never have imagined is being hidden from view with decorations, wrapping paper, parties, and political correctness! Christmas! A Reason to Celebrate You see, I believe it's worth celebrating that Jesus came to earth--his birth signaled hope for all mankind. I believe that as he lived a perfect life before God and mankind, he showed that he truly was God's Son. And I believe that by giving his life up on a cross, he completely paid the penalty that my sins--and yours--deserve before a holy God. And it was made possible because of that first Christmas. How could I not believe in Christmas? Because Christ was born as a baby in a manger, that's more than enough reason to celebrate Christmas for what it is--a joyful occasion. I've experienced forgiveness of my sins, and have the assurance of eternity in heaven! If you don't know Jesus Christ, let me say that he tells us in John 14:6, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." How do you do that? First, understand that I'm talking about a relationship, not a religion. All the world's major religions emphasize that you qualify for heaven by your good works--the things that you do. Such "religion" is spelled "d-o." Christianity is spelled "d-o-n-e." Christ already paid for our sins when he died on the cross. "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). And he rose from the grave proving that the punishment for our sins was fully paid. Nothing we could ever "do" could qualify us for God's forgiveness and reserve our place in heaven. That's why Christ himself said, "This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent" (John 6:29). Celebrate Like Never Before! God forgives us, saves us from our sins, and gives us eternal life based on our belief in what Jesus did for us. Why? Because God is gracious beyond measure! The Bible says that it is "by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works" (Ephesians 2:8-9). Though "the wages of sin is death" (eternal separation from God), the greatest Christmas gift we could ever have is "the free gift of God ... eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). With gift-giving like that from God, I don't want to lose the significance of Christmas. I believe in Christmas! I urge you to accept the greatest "Christmas gift" you'll ever receive: If you're convinced that God's way is the only way to meaningful life now and eternal life in heaven, you can tell him in words like these: Dear God, I do believe Jesus died for me and took the punishment my sins deserved. I want to receive your free gift of salvation and eternal life. Thank you for making this possible! Then join me this year in celebrating Christmas like you've never celebrated it before! Merry Christmas! Zig

Updated with new material, this book delineates a Fox News Channel host's claim that the push to secularize Christmas is a liberal plot.