Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse?

Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse?
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages :
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ISBN-10 : 1946178071
ISBN-13 : 9781946178077
Rating : 4/5 (71 Downloads)

Synopsis Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse? by : Bimisi Tayanita

"...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

Peter Pitched a Tent

Peter Pitched a Tent
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages :
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ISBN-10 : 194617811X
ISBN-13 : 9781946178114
Rating : 4/5 (1X Downloads)

Synopsis Peter Pitched a Tent by : Bimisi Tayanita

"Never make eye contact with a boy while eating a banana."--Olivia WilliamsBimisi and Sumguyen experienced a rare and fleeting moment of sobriety during which they decided to write about something the masses can relate to. While their research did require the navigation of some very murky waters...they definitively concluded that Catholic priests, mall Santas, boy scout leaders and dudes named Caitlyn makeup a very small percentage of the global population.In contrast, 97% of the people on the planet are, have been or will be a 13 year old boy; or they know, have known or will know a 13 year old boy. Coincidently, and Independent of this statistic, 97% of the population can appreciate the truth-driven humor of Peter Pitched a Tent. The other 3% are already posting nasty-grams on the internet about the very existence of this book...Go get 'em, Karen.

Hookers & Blow Save Christmas

Hookers & Blow Save Christmas
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 22
Release :
ISBN-10 : 1777225124
ISBN-13 : 9781777225124
Rating : 4/5 (24 Downloads)

Synopsis Hookers & Blow Save Christmas by : Munty C Pepin

Tom Transport is stuck in the snow with a load of presents and Hookers and Blow must rescue him in time for the town Christmas party.

Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber

Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 32
Release :
ISBN-10 : 1946178047
ISBN-13 : 9781946178046
Rating : 4/5 (47 Downloads)

Synopsis Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber by : Bimisi Tayanita

Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs.It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk."A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of season one. Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber is the fifth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.

Come Swing with Us!

Come Swing with Us!
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 32
Release :
ISBN-10 : 1946178012
ISBN-13 : 9781946178015
Rating : 4/5 (12 Downloads)

Synopsis Come Swing with Us! by : Bimisi Tayanita

It is the curious work of poetry and art and reflection to reveal meaning by obscuring meaning. It is a strange realm where swinging is not swinging, except when sometimes it is. On her own artistic journey to spiritual enlightenment, Bimisi Tayanita has once again transformed her peyote induced mumblings into a physical form that is sure to make you laugh hysterically...and leave you with an empty yet benevolent curiosity as to the kind of person you really are.Come Swing with Us! is the second of five books that make up season one.

I Broke My Butt!

I Broke My Butt!
Author :
Publisher : Courier Dover Publications
Total Pages : 34
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9780486844237
ISBN-13 : 0486844234
Rating : 4/5 (37 Downloads)

Synopsis I Broke My Butt! by : Dawn McMillan

The inventive young hero from the bestselling I Need a New Butt! is back and this time he has accidentally glued a serving tray to his behind — and it's great for sliding down hills, surfing big waves, and other booty-full fun. Now all his friends want one too!

JiggleWiggleTicklePickle

JiggleWiggleTicklePickle
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages :
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ISBN-10 : 1946178098
ISBN-13 : 9781946178091
Rating : 4/5 (98 Downloads)

Synopsis JiggleWiggleTicklePickle by : Bimisi Tayanita

"You can keep the change"--Sumguyen to cashierSumguyen and Bimisi made the fiscally responsible decision to call in sick for a couple days and take advantage of the coveted free passes to the Las Vegas Adult Expo they were given by a scantily clad marketing rep in an Apache Junction bar the night before.They stopped in Wikiup, AZ for $14 worth of gas and a road soda. Sumguyen watched as a biker chick reached deep into the jar of pickles displayed on the counter. She was in elbow deep and was fishing for the largest of those brined beauties. As she clutched the winning pickle in her teeth she started counting out bills with her still dripping hand. Sumguyen knew those bills would be in his change, he slapped down a twenty and walked out the door.The treasures he might encounter at the Adult Expo and that monster Gherkin in a biker chick's mouth made for a strange and conflicting combination of thoughts...the fourth book of Season Two was conceived over the next 28 miles.

Go the F**k to Sleep

Go the F**k to Sleep
Author :
Publisher : Akashic Books
Total Pages : 18
Release :
ISBN-10 : 9781453271025
ISBN-13 : 1453271023
Rating : 4/5 (25 Downloads)

Synopsis Go the F**k to Sleep by : Adam Mansbach

The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Do You Want to Play with My Balls?

Do You Want to Play with My Balls?
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 32
Release :
ISBN-10 : 098594871X
ISBN-13 : 9780985948719
Rating : 4/5 (1X Downloads)

Synopsis Do You Want to Play with My Balls? by : Christopher Cifaldi

Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand

Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand
Author :
Publisher :
Total Pages : 32
Release :
ISBN-10 : 1946178020
ISBN-13 : 9781946178022
Rating : 4/5 (20 Downloads)

Synopsis Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand by : Bimisi Tayanita

Spank the Monkey will never expose the thoughts that you fold and unfold and refold over and over in your mind...He will only whisper his sweet song of deliverance.Inspired by several hundred true stories...and counting. Bimisi Tayanita says it all, without saying much of anything. If you are not choking on laughter midway through this book, don't bother with books 4 and 5...maybe this isn't for you. We can part ways now and still be friends.Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand is a fun and light hearted story that everybody can relate to, except for you of course...you have no idea what everybody is laughing about (wink, wink).Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand is the third of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.